Tip: Planning a wedding for blended families can really add excitement to the wedding itself. Today, four out of every 10 weddings are second marriages.
Ex-Partners: Should be told about the forthcoming wedding well in advance, and if there are children of one or perhaps both the people who are getting married, then extra thought and planning must go into the day. The cooperation of the ex-partner, if at all possible, is most important when deciding who will tell the children and when they will be told.
Children: The time to have heart-to-heart discussions about a new stepparent is well in advance of the wedding day. For children, a wedding may stir up painful memories about the first family and the breakup that followed. Children of any age will need to air their opinions and have their views heard and also, perhaps need to be reassured about that if any changes will take place after the wedding. Pay close attention to the children in the planning of the wedding ceremony and reception. In the interest of future family harmony, your wedding should be a shared family event. Research suggests that it's important to have children participate in an active way with the wedding ceremony. To incorporate the melding of families, you may wish to write your own special ceremony. One custom for second marriages with children is to have all the children from both sides participate in a unity candle ritual or a prayer of family blessing.
Ex-Parent-in Law, Stepparents: There are questions to consider with second weddings that would not be relevant with first weddings. Do you invite your ex parents-in-law so they can see their grandchildren in the wedding party? Do you want to? Would they really want to come? Is it okay to ask my stepfather to give me away as he did the first time?
When death of a partner was the reason for a second wedding, it was often the time to put grief aside and for all the family to join in celebrating the new union.
Keep in mind that it is never possible to please all of the people all of the time. Plan well in advance. Leave nothing to chance and make this a day to remember. Gather people together on the day who you love and who love you and who wish you well in your future life together.
This will be the key to the best day ever!
And most of all, have fun and stay organized!
